
Today I took a look at my life.
I need to be better. A better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, a better student. I realized that I have not been my "best" self and I need to be.
I went to have dinner with my mother and I was telling myself it was going to be so awkward and at 1st it was. VERY awkward. but I soon realized it wasn't my mom making it awkward. It was me. My mom was trying, trying to make conversation, trying to be a good mom. I was the one being awkward, holding back, not talking, counting down the minutes till I left. It hit me like a ton of bricks what I was doing and I felt like the gum under your shoes.
Yes, I have had a hard time with the big change in my family the past year and it is going to be weird when my mother does get remarried in December. Weird.
But tonight for the 1st time I saw that my mom was happy, really happy. So I need to be a better daughter. Because she is trying to be better also.
I realized all of this on the way back to my apt. I had a mini conversation with my father and it was so amazing. It was a big wake up call on my part. He loves me, he told me that, but he also told me I have so much more potential that I am not using, in every aspect. He told me that everything is going to be ok, it has happened for a reason, the new changes are happening for a reason and they are good changes. He told me how proud he was of me and that I am going to be ok and my desires of my heart will come in time with patience and faith. And I believe every word.
So Im going to be a better daughter,sibling,friend and student. I know its not going to happen over night, but with patience and faith it will happen. I have a true feeling of peace in my heart that EVERYTHING will be ok. All these changes are going to be fine in my family, even though they don't feel that way right now. My father is still watching over us, and that is the best feeling and blessing I could ask for.
Thank you dad {and my heavenly father} for these amazing experiences. I was losing sight of my main path, and you put the bread crumbs down to help me find my way back. You were and always will be there for me and I am so grateful.